Misunderstandings...

Sitting In My Class

Killing My Time

People Are Being So Mean

I Don't Know Whose Mine

No More...

They Lied And Made Me Cry

I Still Don't Know Why It Happened

Why Did I Depended

On Relationships, On Friendships

On Trust, On Love...

You Were My Best Friend

The One I Told My Deepest Secret

You Were The One I Trusted

The One I Thought Was Mine

The One Who Broke Me...Again, This Day...

Well, I wrote this crap during my class today after my best bud at school break off in a fight with me just because I wasn't telling him some stuff about my other bud...and it was like crazy...this friend of mine was so sad today because of his girl...something happened between em'...hope he gets on fine...

50 thoughts

1.She (Aritry) said, I should try, so here I'm...making my mind work...duh

2.Do I really have to go to school...I don't really want to...

3.I missed my 3rd language test yesterday...:P...I didn't studied and than didn't went to school...and I cried all day long coz I missed my best friend(Harry)...what a loser...

4.Who am I hiding things from...myself, off course

5.My sis went offline...why did that happen...I miss her

6.I wish I was living abroad with her and was in college...when will this torture end

7.I can't write anything better, I guess

8.My poetry ain't poetry...it's crap...seriously, I suck to death

9.I won't cheat in the upcoming exams...really, who am I kidding with...but seriously, I won't...:P

10.I gonna fail in my mid-terms

11.My room's wall have got 30reasons why I wanna die...this is harder than writing those 30reasons...:P

12.It's 4.58am...I'm sitting in my bathing gown...all drenched in water...haha...I'm so insane

13.My van will come to take me to hell(School, actually it's worst than that) at 6.25am

14.I miss Aastha(ex-best friend)...she'd probably be sleeping

15.I woke up for the night...

16.Maybe I'll sleep after returning from school...:P

17.I wanna die...the thought of killing myself ain't gonna leave me any sooner

18.I'm going insane...actually, I was born insane...I need some therapy, please

19.When is that guy, pawan releasing the 5Th part of his story, the lives of others...

20.I'm bored...oh look, I've reached 20...woohooo...ain't bad...

21.How can I possibly hate myself for others mistakes...?

22.Am I emo...well, there are possibilities...I've been all too depressed and have been listening to the used for so long...

23.I feel that the used wrote that song, the poetic tragedy, on me

24.What time would it be in US, at my sis's place...might be 5.40pm or something...

25.My classmates would still be sleeping...

26.My school's 40kms away from my place...80kms up-down everyday...:P

27.I want to try in some new bands...any suggestions...I'm bored with the oldies

28.My audio editor software is gonna download in a minute...woohoo...well, what is it about anyway...?

29.My fingers are aching, I've been typing non-stop...

30.The editor thing is done...

31.It's gonna take me more than the others to write out my 50 thoughts...

32.I'm hungry...need to eat Maggi...

33.I've to get in my uniform...and put my SS copy inside my bag...

34.Mid-terms from 31st...I'm still gonna fail...

35.Would Harry be sleeping right now...?...probably not, he had to do the sehri thing and than keep on fasting again

36.I wish I die today...suicide isn't my thing...maybe some tragedy, may god be pleased today and Satan be sorry...haha...:P

37.I want to read more stuff of Edgar Allen Poe and some novels from Rabindranath Tagore...My library pass will be ready by this Friday...

38.I ain't that blank that I thought I was

39.Some guy just scrapped me at Orkut...there are people more "VELLA" types than me...

40.I reached 40...hope, I die right away after 50...

41.I miss my bro, his wife and his cute lil' daughter...awww...

42.My neighbours would be still dreaming about random stuff I ain't interested to hear about

43.The bitches at my school are gonna irritate me again like any other day with their crap talk

44.Why does my seniors give me that weird look...?

45.Am I that bad...I answer it myself, yes, off course...I again suck to death

46.My blog is going to have 24posts after this...cool...

47.There are people online on my facebook, orkut, gtalk, msn & yahoo...see I told ya I'm a "VELLA INSAAN"

48.My best advice to myself, "Go get a life, you lazy ass"

49.I'm growing fat, I guess...those chubby cheeks...:P

50.Finally done...:P...cool...it took me around 25mins I guess...it's 5.20am right now...so bad...I'm the worst at it...still heads off to Aritry...!!!...Leaving...got to dress up for school...

Jinxed...:P

- Peace Out

- Zoya

Why I Hate My Parents...?

Its crap…I don’t even know what it is…just something that’s been on my mind for a while…another entry for killing time...sorry mom-dad, but it’s true…

My mom says she knows me

Well, I bet she doesn't

My dad says he cares

Then, why isn’t he there

When I need them

They are nowhere to be found

When I need a shoulder to cry

They don't even ask what's wrong

My mom yells at me for waste

Every now and then we fight for haste

My dad never listens to me

He doesn't even know what my age would be

When I was a kid

Doesn't knew what they'd turn out to be

I thought my parents were my best friends

And now I think, they're another face to the enemy

My mom compares me with other girls of my age

Well, everyone's different, did she ever heard of that

My dad doesn't like me talking to boys

80s mentality, how can I possibly change that

And now when I want no one

They ask me why

And when I say it's because of em'

They tell me I'm just a brat.

Where's the love gone...

Why does it have be so hard

Just for the two of us

Have to go through so much

Can't take it, let go of it

You and me, met by chance

Fell in love

And had a new start

You trusted me and I trusted you

Don't know where's the love gone now

Everything was going on fine

Since the nine that night

I received your mail

It said, I was insane

We weren't meant to be

You wasted the last four years on me

In vain, left me in pain

You and me, met by chance

Fell in love

And had a new start

You trusted me and I trusted you

Don't know where's the love gone now

But I never forced you to love me

You could have told me that back then

You could have left 4yrs back

It would have been better than this

Atleast I wouldn't have this hole inside

You and me, met by chance

Fell in love

And had a new start

You trusted me and I trusted you

Don't know where's the love gone now

And now I met this guy

He helped me get over you

I guess, I don't care anymore

Infact, I fucking hate you

You're so done with putting me thorugh hell

Your thoughts don't depress me anymore

I don't want you anymore

Life moves on, no matter what

I forgot with time,

I forgot if there was the thing called love in between

Us

Heartsick

And so now it's coming to an end
Finally stopping to beat
And now, I won't be left with any heartstrings
And so I'm done with my life
And I can be free forever,
to soar above the sky,
Dive through the seven seas,
Rest in peace at Heavens,
Forget about the Love of my Life
Who broke my heart once
And made me Heartsick...

Best Freind

Well, em' feeling happy...Finally, I've got myself a best friend...:)...Have been waiting for so long...His name's Harry...It's like I talk to him 24/7...not actually...but it seems so...he's just so awesome...my feelings can't be expressed into mere words...need a lot of em'...I love him so much...we like started talking on 20th Aug., Midnight and since then we've got so close...he knows me and I know him...:)...I'm feeling lucky...not everyone gets someone like him...and if they do, than they don't put em' in their jewel box...those who took him for granted, boo on ya...dumb people...but after all, I get him whole for myself and I ain't gonna share him with anyone else...gonna be selfish...:P...get jealous all ya people...he's the best...And he's all mine...:)

Untitled

well, I'm blank right now...what to write...school was boring...1st period...ahhh...as boring as always...2ND period, third language, ma'am told me I was doing good...was I...?...I was as bad at it as I can be...3rd, calculus...4Th, SS...boring...recess...2nd half...calculus again, than SS...English...and than a lecture on Swine Flu...seriously I don't need that shit...better that happens to me and I die...my wish be granted...please...rumors are spread in class about me and that guy who likes to talk to me, in class...80s mentality have to act out someway by those bitches...they're so sick...damn, I hate em' so much...!!!

Unnoticed

She sees her blood flow

Down her hands, to the floor

The stainless blade lying beside her

The loneliness evolving inside her

Her visions getting a blur

Her memories fading away

Her heart stopping

Her screeching slowing down

She lived, she died

She smiled, she cried

She lived in pain, in vain

She’s forgotten

And she goes unnoticed

Her tears drying

But she’s still drowning in em’

So dark, so deep, this darkness overwhelming her

Her struggles are coming to an end

Nobody cares

About the flares she faces

She’s tired, exhausted

Leave her please, in peace

She can’t hold unto anymore

Trusted, Betrayed

Fought, Lost

Feared, Deceived

Tried, gave up

Broken

Nothings left to her

She lived, she died

She smiled, she cried

She lived in pain, in vain

She’s forgotten

And she goes unnoticed

I go unnoticed

Deathwish

Finally it came to me...2 new poetic disasters...!!!...well, again it's about my life...what else can I write about...emo crybaby as they say, is all I'm.......................

Deathwish

Fall to pieces

I don’t fit in anywhere

They all hate me everywhere

Nobody wanna be my friend

I trusted everyone, I found on my way

They used me, abused me and left me for waste

I cried and drowned myself in my tears

I’m all covered with my fears

I believed in god

I believed in happiness

I believed in true love

I believed in friendship

I believed in myself

But everything was fake

You were a fake…!!!

I thought of heavens

And dreamt happily-ever-afters

I now know, I was living a lie

All that is real is hell

Which I’m living in so well

My poetic disasters

All too sad

Describing sorrow

Wanting sympathy

Dying for attention

An insult to the poets

An example of bad creativity

Living superficiality

They may say I’m emo

They may say I’m insane

But never did they tried to understand

Or To know who I’m

What’s wrong with me?

I can’t stand myself

This ugly covering upon me

Just take it all away

I fucking hate myself

I’ve got to get rid of myself

Deathwish (x3)

- Amen

Fun At School

Today, the day at school was really fun...I didn't concentrated on the 1st half's four periods much as I had to write that essay(Innovative Measures To Reduce Corruption) in *good writing* and submit to my prof...It was like 13 long pgs...damn long...than 2nd half's 6th period is when the real fun started...I roamed with my pals in search for our prof. than after submitting him the essay, I went for the games period...Some of the girls decided to play with guys (which was really strange to see, I mean, where's the 80s mentality gone now) actually there were only 5-6 girls playing with 19-20guys...the team was divided...we played soccer...it was awesome...though I got the ball rarely...but still it was fun...I had a really awesome experience and some guys made me laugh so much...my team was kind of weak as we had less players an most of them were girls(who were playing soccer for the 1st time) but still...the score was 1/3 in the end...we scored 1...LoL...the guys of my class have started talking to me and not like the way they talk to the other girls...so it's good...they tell me about things happening and all of those stuff and there crappy jokes...LoL...I can't understand how the girls can talk about which nail paint they should put on tomorrow or which lip gloss suits em' best...weird stuff...at least I'm not like that...I better go with guys...they're fun to talk to and their talks doesn't includes clothes and make-up as far as they aren't going for a *date*...LoL...then the last period came...7th and 8th...both of em' were computer science and my mind wasn't present in the class during the 7th period as I was really exhausted and was sleeping while my partner practiced the practicals...than concentrated while my ma'am was teaching...atleast I tried...the mid-terms are starting from 31st Aug...no big deal...have to do my best at least...:)...though the positive attitude isn't gonna stay for long...just till I don't tell about this to my "so-called parents"...gonna take some more time though...*winks*...