The Fallen Angel

A piece of poetry I wrote, somedays back...It's about what I feel right now...Loaded in with all the responsibilities...the pain I feel...All of the cursing I hear...Death is what I wish in the end...Here it is, "The Fallen Angel"

Crawling in my forlorn appearance

I hide my soul behind these tattered wings

Tattered and broken as they are

Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.

In quiet despair upon the cold earth

Smeared in dirt I crouch upon my weary knees

And clutched timidly between my fingers

Rests one last jewel of Hope.

A single unblemished plume plucked

From the silver light of dawn

A feathered ray of light from beyond

To illuminate the void that has me bound.

This precious barb of silk

Once lost as I was and forgotten

Blazes now to immerse me in radiant bliss

To wash away the pain, draw me from the abyss.

So now I fade away…

My tender flesh removed

My shattered wings released

My inner light unsheathed… escapes.

*Rest In Peace*

Stuff have been pretty bad lately...I can't be online for more than an hour on weekdays...I know it sounds shit...I'm feeling so sick...Got exams from next month...n I'm like totally locked down...My parents have been acting really insane...I don't know why they don't trust me...I don't feel like a kid of theirs, It's more like a warden thing at some hostel though I do what I want...I wrote 30 reasons on the wall of my room about why I want to end up my life...most of them are about my "so called parents"...I feel so bad about everything happening around...I just want to escape, anyhow...Sweet escape for me would be Suicide...but I've tried it like a dozen times...n failed all through...Don't try the following, it won't work...

1.Slit wrists

2.Drink Hydrochloric Acid

3.Vaccines

4.Breaking the thermometer in your mouth and taking in the damned Mercury

5.Giving up eating for days

6.Drowning yourself

7.Choking in something

8.30 Sleeping Pills

But self harm is something that makes me feel real...I know I'm not just skin and bones...I've got a soul somewhere inside which is lost in all this fuss...I haven't been writing any poetry from the past week and there's so much ready to be out but than I don't have time for the only thing I love doing...I wanna end up somehow...I recently had a quarrel with my sis because of some personal reasons...and I'm so messed up since than...the only person I didn't expected to change had changed in so many ways..:(...*crying*...I wish some disease torture me to death...seriously, living like this is more torture than just dying in some damned way...I'll be fine than...somewhere in hell with Satan...sounds good to me...!!!...damn, god please kill me...I want to *Rest In Peace*

Lonely

I feel alone...Drowning In Solitude...No one with me...Just me and my loneliness...I sometimes think of god as a real cruel person but than again maybe god's just like us...maybe he also have the good and bad side of himself...maybe he also feels different emotions like us...but than why does he have to make us cry...and take away our beloved ones...why does he have to be so cruel to see people killing and dying, and still not do anything...why...?...any answer...I guess not...One day, I gonna die the same way...Not a peaceful death though...Maybe like those involved in some tragedy or like Kurt Cobain, overdose of drugs...or maybe from Leukemia...Maybe by just being alone...I'll die just like that...Without any appropriate reason except for that My Loneliness Still Remains...And it always will...I'll be alone foreva n eva...

Awesome People

I've always thought of myself as the only one suffering but after I started blogging, I got to know that there are people like me...Aritry, one of the best person I've met...wateva she writes sounds too good...makes me cry at times...sounds like I'm reading my life's history...than Debayudh Da...he's like my twin soul...so many similarities...I can be like an open book infront of him...He's my fav. poet...his works are so professional...great indeed...Anmol...he's like the real punk rocker...kind of the real deal...so ppl like these makes my life worth living...it's so good to talk to em'...I kind of feel lucky when I think of life this way...I f I haven't gone through all this than I wouldn't have found all these awesome people...I miss my sis still...no one can take her place...but ya, my best friends place is always vacant...so debayudh da is already like my big bro...as I always wanted one...Aritry is like an Angel...Anmol's the fun type...Seriously, these ppl r awesome...*tears*...

Pictaz.....

*Someone for everyone, except me*

Heartbreaker Boys & Girls...I mean all those who read my blog atleast have had a break up...Or have known some ppl like that...I really hate ppl like that...I've known so many ppl like em'...many break ups...a lot of blood & bruises...have seen it all...I know what it feels to be left broken hearted...I know how it feels when no one's there for you...I know crying isn't going to help me but still I keep on crying...no one to see my tears flow...no one to hold me when I'm all alone...no one there to listen to me...I walk alone on the road to death...I walk alone...These scars on my wrists...No one even cares to take a look at em' and ask me why...?...I walk alone and I always will...*Someone for everyone, except me*

Here's the song by Simple Plan, Your Love Is A Lie...

Is This Life...?

Walking past the lonely lanes

I see no living soul around

Just the remembrance left with me

I'm sure there once lived some...

Thinking about all of those times

The laughs I shared with others

They, who made this,

A walk to remember...

Wandering aimlessly here

Where's my destination

What's the reason to all of this

Why am I giving resignation to life...?

Worshipping every morning

Is there any life in this statue

I keep on talking with the one it holds

Or maybe it's nothing but My loneliness,

I talk to...

People in sorrow

Living in pain

Asking themselves why live this life in vain

There's nothing left of them...

Living like the dead

Seems to be the end of the World

No moment of happiness

No time for fun

Just living

Living without emotions...

Twilight Saga

Twilight, my fav. movie...Robert, Kristen & Taylor acted out real good...I just loved it...I've read the whole Twilight saga (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse & Breaking Dawn), It made to the top of my fac. book list...:p...Waiting for New Moon's movie release this November...So here's the video for Paramore's Song "Decode", It's about Twilight itself...*Enjoy*...

The Person I Love The Most

The person I love the most...hmm...for obvious, the answer is "My Sis"...love her to death...well, she doesn't lives with me, it's been a while since she shifted to Fort Collins, Colorado, USA and joined CSU for her further studies...she's doing Aerospace Engg. there...she left on 12th Jan, 2006...Been like forever but she visited us in India in 2007 and than left after a month as her vacations were ending up...so this is her final year so she won't be coming this yr, I guess...but it's ok...

I've passed all these years without her in great despair...seriously, when she left I was like totally broken apart into pieces...she was like my best friend...the only person who was there for me other than my parents (for obvious)...but than I won''t have learned all these stuff being with her...I write because I'm lonely...Have no one to call my own, around...Trust no one...And because I cry my heart out very easily...LoL...Most of the time when I ask someone that if they love their sis and all...most of em' answer as

"ya, I love her, but she gets on my nerves, interferes in my stuff, etcetera but excluding all this, she's just fine"

Sounds stupid enough to me...cause that's what sisters are for...they have got to know your stuff and for obvious you should tell them on your own and all of those quarrels have to take place, somehow...the crying, the hating, the forgiving and than having the same cycle go around again and again...sometimes we used to engage ourselves in meaningless quarrels but it's worth it...but after living without her for this long, I know her importance in my life...she's my everything...!!!

LoVe Ya Sis...Mauhhhz..

Life Sucks...

Emptiness, overflowing upon me

Loneliness, giving in it's heed

Lost in the memories of long lost love

Broken heart is hard to hold up

All of those promises you made

Broken again and again

Forgiven & Forgotten

Love & Hurt

Lonely & Lost

Blood & Bruises

All Over Again

Hope he knew

What life is

When no one's there, for you

They say,

Life sucks and then you die

But when is it going to happen to me

It'd sucked a lot already...

Lost In The Asylum Of Sane

Begging, Crying, Grieving

Betrayal, Hurt, Lies

All I've concluded so far

Another name to love

Pain, To be hurt, In grief...

To slit my wrists, in the dark

To cry to my loneliness

To cry to the one they named as God

Or maybe just no one

But me

Hope he knew

What life is

When no one's there, for you

They say,

Life sucks and then you die

But when is it going to happen to me

It'd sucked a lot already...

Got doomed by destiny

Something I never asked for

Something that was not meant for me

But now it's done to me...

Dead or Alive

Feels the same

So far away, from the end

It's better to die

Then to be left out in pain

Every single moment

The mistakes, I made

Reminds me of what a fool

I've been all through

All of the guilt

Stabbing against my heart so hard...

Hope he knew

What life is

When no one's there, for you

They say,

Life sucks and then you die

But when is it going to happen to me

It'd sucked a lot already...